How to reduce stress and anxiety when doing new activities?
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. My oldest son wanted to go to the Aquapark with me; an inflatable climbing and sliding castle in the water, with all the associated challenges. The water was cold (I don’t like that at all) and there was a slippery piece with 5 bars that you had to jump over with water pieces in between. So you had more than enough chances to fall into the water. Oh yeah, and everyone was watching if people could actually make the jump.
I had been lingering for a while, while my eldest son jumped like a nimble elf from Lord of the Rings over all the obstacles without getting even the slightest bit wet, including the scary slippery 5 beams. He looked at me, I looked at him, and then I thought “I’m just going to try”. I am fairly sporty. And it worked too! I felt tremendous relief and pride when I came across dry. I did it!
I had clearly done something I had never done before, and it felt uncomfortable and unpleasant at first. Thoughts like: “Will I be able to do this and soon everyone will see that I will not succeed” certainly came across my mind. And then came that huge kick after I did it. We also call this “stepping outside of your comfort zone”.
The convenience of the comfort zone
In recent years during coaching sessions I have seen that when people step outside their comfort zone, enormous growth and development takes place. That is why it is so important to do this and to keep doing it.
In this article I will give some tips on how to get out of your comfort zone more easily. But first let me explain what the comfort zone actually means.
Staying within your comfort zone means staying where you feel safe and comfortable. It is not a physical place, but a spiritual state. You are in your comfort zone when you do things that you are sure you can already do. Activities that you can successfully complete without risk. There are no challenges in the comfort zone, and there is no risk of failure. These are often daily recurring situations and no personal growth takes place from here.
Accomplishing results outside of your comfort zone?
The comfort zone feels very relaxed, but it doesn’t get us much. It is only when you step outside of your comfort zone that real growth and development takes place. Something unknown happens, or you approach something new, as a result of which you are no longer sure of a safe, pleasant and familiar situation and outcome. That often feels like this situation does not suit you. It makes you alert, you register more stimuli, gain new impressions, and your brain and body are busy processing these new stimuli. And this state of alertness can actually create amazing results!
Interestingly enough, research shows that people perform best when they experience mild stress. Psychologists call this Positive Arousal; a positive or healthy tension. Recent research has also shown that stress is not necessarily unhealthy. Stress is only unhealthy if you think it is bad for you. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal shares her view on this in a TedEx presentation “How to make stress your friend.”
How can you more easily step outside of your comfort zone and grow as a result?
Because stepping outside your comfort zone feels uncomfortable, many people don’t do that often. That’s why I’m sharing a few tips below on how to make this process easier, so that you can develop yourself faster. This also ensures better performance and more job satisfaction.
1. Discover your deeper talents
First it is important to discover which talents you have on a deeper level. Only then will you know which talents you can utilize with activities that feel uncomfortable.
When discovering your deeper talents, try to stay out of the container concepts, such as result-oriented, for example. Out of a group of 10 people, half of this group will often raise his/her finger when asked which of them is result-oriented. Ask yourself in-depth questions to really get to the core of your deeper talents to find out what makes you result-oriented.
Examples of this are:
- Achieving results in collaboration with others.
- Achieving competitive profits.
- If it’s detailed and correct, I want to score.
A technique called Deep Talent Mining can help you discover deeper talents.
2. Use your talents to push yourself
I am sporty and exercise regularly. With the sporty action in the Aquapark I relied on something that suits me, namely sports. I added something uncomfortable: cold water, spectators and an unknown Aquapark.
By focusing on what you can already do and looking for links with the new challenge, it is easier to step outside of your comfort zone. This way you can expand and strengthen your talents and also try out new situations. In this way, further development and growth of your talents takes place.
3. Get the right mindset
With the right mindset you have a better chance of success than if you don’t believe that you can do something. In psychology we also call this self-fulfilling prophecy. This means that what you believe will come true, simply because you adapt your behavior to your belief.
That seems easier said than done, but one important tip is that the change should benefit you. Because if you really want to do something, you are more likely to adjust your mindset to the behavior you want to achieve, even if it feels different and uncomfortable and unrealistic. I really wanted to show a good example to my oldest son in the Aqua Park and not give up. That motivated me so much that I dared to take the literal leap.
It’s also important to make sure you have people around you who encourage you and who want you to succeed. When you are being encouraged it’s much easier to believe you can do it yourself. And this enhances a successful outcome.
Would you like to know more about how you can use your talents in such a way that you dare to take on more new things? Do you want to know more about Deep Talent Mining? Please feel free to reach out to me:
